Rambling
I did manage to rest on the weekend. I watched a dumb movie with Jennifer Aniston in it. I also watched Brokeback Mountain which was excellent and it made me cry.
My back was almost better but when I arrived home and so I decided to unload the car of not very heavy things (washing basket, bag, doona, etc) and hurt my back again. I went back to the pain I had before I went away.
Yesterday at work was very difficult and there was lots of things that I usually do with the kids that I couldn't do such as the constant bobbing up and down to work with children, P.E and our afternoon yoga session.
When I got home Action man convinced me that going swimming would help so I went for a gentle swim for about 45 mins. I felt no pain in the water. It was wonderful. Last night however, the pain was worse than ever and I was freaking out.
Today it is nearly gone!! Must be the swim. I feel almost normal!
7 days until the ultrasound to reveal non or viable pregnancy. I am starting to get a bit freaked out now. I heard of someone who just had their 6 week scan (was on IVF) only to discover that the embryo had implanted but had not survived. I guess this is fairly common. Bloody devastating though.
I will be 6 weeks on Thursday which is my birthday. I am very happy to be believing that I am pregnant for my birthday. My 31st, 32nd and 33rd were all sad markers of time spent trying to conceive and time spent grieving. I was not looking forward to my birthday this year either but now I am, and that is quite a special thing.
The scan is 5 days after my birthday so if it all goes pear shaped at least I can say I was pregnant for my birthday.
Of course I wouldn't say any of this to my fertile friends because they might think I was being a Negative Nancy or an Ungrateful Ursula. I can't expect them to understand that as much as I try to be positive and calm about this working for us I can't help feeling that gloom and grief are just around the corner. Gosh I hope they are not around the corner but sadly it wouldn't surprise me if they were.
Sorry for moaning.
It's going to be O.K.
My back was almost better but when I arrived home and so I decided to unload the car of not very heavy things (washing basket, bag, doona, etc) and hurt my back again. I went back to the pain I had before I went away.
Yesterday at work was very difficult and there was lots of things that I usually do with the kids that I couldn't do such as the constant bobbing up and down to work with children, P.E and our afternoon yoga session.
When I got home Action man convinced me that going swimming would help so I went for a gentle swim for about 45 mins. I felt no pain in the water. It was wonderful. Last night however, the pain was worse than ever and I was freaking out.
Today it is nearly gone!! Must be the swim. I feel almost normal!
7 days until the ultrasound to reveal non or viable pregnancy. I am starting to get a bit freaked out now. I heard of someone who just had their 6 week scan (was on IVF) only to discover that the embryo had implanted but had not survived. I guess this is fairly common. Bloody devastating though.
I will be 6 weeks on Thursday which is my birthday. I am very happy to be believing that I am pregnant for my birthday. My 31st, 32nd and 33rd were all sad markers of time spent trying to conceive and time spent grieving. I was not looking forward to my birthday this year either but now I am, and that is quite a special thing.
The scan is 5 days after my birthday so if it all goes pear shaped at least I can say I was pregnant for my birthday.
Of course I wouldn't say any of this to my fertile friends because they might think I was being a Negative Nancy or an Ungrateful Ursula. I can't expect them to understand that as much as I try to be positive and calm about this working for us I can't help feeling that gloom and grief are just around the corner. Gosh I hope they are not around the corner but sadly it wouldn't surprise me if they were.
Sorry for moaning.
It's going to be O.K.
posted by Betty at
6:38 pm
6 Comments:
Sorry to hear about your back -- I hope you can get the pain under control before you are dealing with your pregnant belly! :)
I remember the devastation of another b-day without being pregnant. I was injecting myself with another cycle during my last b-day and even though I was hopeful, I also was losing faith. Sure enough, that was the one that worked! I am sending happy thoughts for your b-day and prayers for your little bean!
By
lucky #2, at 1:12 am
Birthdays have sucked ass for me as well...
I hope this one proves to be rainbows and sunshine for months and months and months for you.
By
Anonymous, at 9:11 am
Good vibes coming your way for your scan.
Cathy
By
Cathy, at 12:56 pm
Oh I hope this is a great birthday - an augur of great things to come for this year.
By
Thalia, at 8:57 pm
Well, happy birthday! Each birthday, I keep thinking... maybe next year...
By
Kris, at 4:40 am
You’re entitled to moan, moan away, it's a good stress reliever!
Kind regards
By
Anonymous, at 3:36 pm
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